Printable Version (PDF) 1. It is often difficult for parents to see their children in situations where they are being evaluated, especially at a young age. But if we spend our time worrying too much about how they're doing, we are missing what should be a wonderful experience for us as well as them. If they're not good players, we'll love them anyway, find reasons to praise them for their accomplishments on the field or court, big or small, and know that they'll excel at other things. 2. The game is for the kids. We shouldn't let our egos (personal desire for glory) turn into angry yelling at the kids when they don't fulfill our expectations. Our expectations may be unrealistic. Pressure causes stress and they may not perform as well as they can. If they're having fun, gaining confidence by learning skills, and being coached by a person who is teaching without anger, that should satisfy us. 3. Winning is one goal but not the primary one. Studies have consistently shown that children rate the FUN of playing much higher than the final score. Winning too much means in most cases that the competition is weaker (your team has more skilled players). 4. We need to also remember that it is okay to lose because life is not just about winning. We all suffer setbacks. Learning to accept defeat gracefully and come back enthusiastically next time is an important lesson to teach. As long as children try their best, they are winners on another level even when they lose the game. 5. Coaches and game officials deserve RESPECT. They make mistakes as we all do but like us, they try their best and we have a responsibility to help teach RESPECT to our children. Yelling criticism at referees, umpires, or coaches is inappropriate and that behavior is subject to penalties, including suspension from attending matches or even barring a child from the league. Children often say they are embarrassed when their parents shout out criticism of them, game officials and coaches. 6. When someone makes unsportsmanlike comments to anyone, avoid confrontations. Try a simple "Relax and enjoy the game." Your program should have a procedure for handling or reporting negative conduct which continues despite a calm response. Having two or more people rather than one report the behavior is often helpful. 7. Even if my child has outstanding ability, I shouldn't look too far into the future. Considering the higher number of good players coming into and out of high school, I need to be realistic about whether they will get a lot of playing time in high school or college. 8. Know the expected commitment and the playing time policy. Talk to the coach away from games. 9. The experience of watching children play youth sports is over all too soon. Why not relax and have fun simply knowing that if we let them play and don't get too involved, they will have FUN?