Leagues, clubs, schools, recreation departments and others need to be aware of the ramifications of each type of coach. For whatever reason, many groups are frozen in place when it comes to disciplining or dismissing abusive or downright nasty coaches who should never be around young or older kids. Likewise, there is not nearly enough recognition of good coaches. Coaches give generously of their time and do the best they can, even if their knowledge of the sport is limited. Most treat their players positively. They know sports are about more important things than winning. They are often unappreciated. But without them, kids wouldn't have organized sports. It would be wonderful if there could be extensive required training for youth coaches and parents. It does happen in a few places, such as El Paso where rec and travel coaches and parents must attend a 3-hour seminar or the kids don't play and at Rutgers University's Youth Sports Council in New Jersey, which offers a seminar program. Yet coaches and parents who don't know how to interact positively with children, without pressure, are a major reason why kids say sports isn't fun anymore and quit. Year-round play and early specialization leading to burnout are two others. Any group should have a structure to deal with issues like this. 1) Distribute a written policy spelling out inappropriate behavior and the potential consequences of violations. 2) Of vital importance, that policy should establish a procedure for feedback, positive or negative. Parents should be encouraged to report the good, as well as what they believe is the bad. Have a friend who saw the behavior join with you. 3) It shouldn't always be parents having to report misconduct. They are often reluctant out of fear there will be some form of retaliation against their kids. Severe penalties, including a ban, should be established for retaliation whether or not the concern is valid. 4) League, club, and school officials (and those of other sports groups) have a responsibility to evaluate their own coaches (and spectators). This is especially true of new coaches. It is, however, impossible to be present at every game. 5) Coaches must be directed to hold an annual meeting with parents. That meeting should include any procedural changes the league directs. Also, issues like playing time, yelling criticism, and the policy for dealing with lopsided games should be discussed. The latter includes, when the score reaches a prescribed differential, removing all the starters if the roster size allows or most of the starters. 6) These policies and procedures must be distributed in writing before each season. 7) Parents need to come forward only when they genuinely feel a coach is not acting properly. Such action should not have anything to do with such things as which players are in the starting lineup. But if players are not getting the playing time prescribed by the organization, that is a legitimate cause. On issues that are appropriate for your child to ask about, let your child talk to the coach first. This teaches how to deal with problems without parent involvement.     If after the child tries, you feel the issue has still not been resolved appropriately, you are entitled to register your concern. But follow your organization's procedure for registering feedback. If your club wants you to talk to the coach before talking to the club (especially if your child is too young to do so--perhaps eight or younger-- ), discuss issues away from the field and and both coach and parent must be calm. A parent may be told in a pleasant way that you'll consider his/her comments but you don't wish to talk more about the issue(s). Don't let your emotion take over. Take a deep breath, a short walk, or whatever you need to do to write or speak about the issue calmly. 8) Sometimes, no evidence can be found to justify complaints against the coach or the parents. Club officials need to look into negative feedback, especially if it comes from more than one adult. The penalties for parents and coaches may be suspension from attending matches for a specified period, or for multiple offenses or a particularly serious one, an outright ban from attending or coaching.     The removal of a child from the club is the last thing anyone wants but if, for example, a parent attends a game while suspended, one more warning may be given and then the child barred. This policy is one of the issues that needs to be in writing and distributed before each season. See the concerns in #5 for others. #9) Surveys of parents about coaches may be conducted after the season. The polls are anonymous. Multiple choice questions probably are able to be reviewed by the club more efficiently. Remember that coaches are volunteers who may not know much about the game but are willing to devote many hours to the kids.     The difficult issue about such surveys is whether some answers are influenced by such things as playing time. That subject may be addressed in the survey but the question should ask only whether the club's guidelines have been followed. People who disagree with the policy should attend a board meeting. Our suggestion is as much as possible equal playing time until the middle school level, then a minimum of half of each game. Roster size should be limited to double the players allowed on the field/court to permit more playing time when possible.     If several families answer a question the same way about an issue they're concerned about, the club/league has an obligation to investigate and report back to the parents. 10) There must be the attitude that the good coaches will be complimented for their work and the not-so-good ones educated or eliminated.